They're games and they're EXTREME! Sony's ESPN Extreme Games is one that celebrates those ego-massaging non-sports that are all the rage among those wacky Generation X kids. ESPN2 (or The Deuce, as it's known to all who have to turn everything into a nickname), as well as insurance companies across America, are laughing all the way to the bank. In this game you can in-line skate, street luge, mountain bike and skateboard, all from the relative safety of your computer (of course you have to worry about that nasty carpal tunnel syndrome).
There's some sort of computer game here as well. A thoroughly annoying woman invites you to each race (she says lovely things like, "You probably want a freakin' medal." "Freakin' right, lame-ass. Know any other freakin' words?" is how I would normally respond). Ah yes, you're supposed to race. Here's where the game falls on its face. The race is really just a rehash of Electronic Arts' all-conquering Road Rash (soon to be available for your PC as well).
For a "sports" game celebrating fast-paced and hyperkinetic activities (the irony here being anyone who actually engages in this activity is unlikely to sit in front of a PC), this sure is a slow and dull game. The same criticism can be leveled at the original console version, so it's not the PC that's keeping it back. It's just a mediocre game, on any platform.
When the race starts you have to use human power to get going regardless of the sport you choose. This means that there's little sensation of speed as you hit a staggering 13 MPH on an uphill slope. When you finally get up to speed you'll meet up with fellow racers; demonstrating your great sportsmanship, you can pop them up-side the head with your fist, or kick them in the knees. "If you can't beat 'em, beat 'em," is the credo here. In addition to the other riders, you have to avoid or jump over objects littered around the tracks. When you complete a race, you are given money and can upgrade your equipment. In other words, it's just like every other single racing game.
While the games themselves are in reality popular among the testosterone and adrenaline junkies, these Extreme Games are extremely dull.
